She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
