Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
