are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
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