Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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