"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
