does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
