you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
