Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
