So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
