Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
