she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize