He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
