I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He better not be in your backpack
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
