so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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