If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
