If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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