I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
