Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
