walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
