Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
