So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize