It's Friday. Sex?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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