The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
