I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
