wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
