Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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