Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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