Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
