I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Drunk is not a location!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
