My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We named our party play list daddy issues
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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