I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
