You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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