that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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