I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
