I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
