Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We are two peas in an std pod
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
