"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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