So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
