She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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