Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
