Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just blew my weed a kiss
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
