finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
