All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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