Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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