Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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