i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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