im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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