Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
