I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
