I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
