9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
