I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
