just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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