I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
