I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Sober January is a disaster.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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