anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
