did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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