I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
