Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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